The Ultimate Life Challenge

Thanks to the Angels in my Life

2008-08-22T22:39:00.000-07:00

So sometimes being a Christian women kinda sucks. Yes it's great to have joy, sure it's great to have love okay so I am spending eternity in ultimate paradise ya ya ya but here on earth it's sometimes really, really hard!
Like when you set out on an Ultimate Life Challenge and than sorta get sick of it and want to quit and and want to simply just walk away from it when BAM God speaks to those in your life and actually holds you accountable. That's been my journey this month.
I have struggled this past couple of weeks I set out to be honest on this journey so well here I am being honest. I have had a couple days of not 100% following my plan and 2 whole weeks of ignoring the gym!!
So today when I was on the treadmill for the first time in two weeks, did I mention it's been two weeks ya okay so my butt really hurts but anyway....... when I was on the treadmill I had my amazing friend Debbie next to me (MY ULTIMATE ANGEL IN MY LIFE) running her little heart out and I was listening to Kurt Franklin singing a song that I have always loved but really never listened to the words they were sort of talking about " being down so low and never thought I would see the light at the end and never thought I could make it, and night after night asking to not take the Joy from me and realizing that Jesus you are the sun right after the rain and now that I am changed NO one can take His joy from me!!" I started to cry and I just closed my eyes and asked God to forgive me and that I have taken him out of the equation again, trying to do this Ultimate Life Challenge without his strength is IMPOSSIBLE.

It's very interesting how the Lord places certain people in your path at certain times to help you through your journey. I have this amazing friend who is kind of a drill sergeant in a way she kicks you in the butt when you need it, your not going to get flowery words from her but the TRUTH ( you know who you are) little hint she likes to climb mountains. But anyway she sent me an e-mail on my facebook page couple of days ago, when I saw it was from her I didn't even open it because I knew that she hears from God and the words were going to be basically to get over myself and get back on track. It took me 2 days to read it. It was exactly the words God had already spoken to me but I was not willing to listen but anyway it made me get my butt back to the gym and get back on track. So come on folks no more sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves what's it going to take to beat this thing we are all trying to overcome.
Thanks babe I love you!! Your are one of the angels in my life.

I have this other awesome friend who lives in the U.S I was talking to her today and she told me that she is using my blog in their women's bible studies, that little bit of encouragement was enough to give me the strength to suck it up and be honest and write tonight.
Thanks babe I love you too. You are an angel in my life this week.

About 8 months ago a another awesome friend called me one night and said that she had been praying for me and that God had given her some scriptures that I was to write down and call them my encouragement scriptures when I need them to get through a tough day. It's funny I wrote them down and completely forgot about them until yesterday when I was cleaning up!!! They were there exactly when I needed them to get back on track. So I am going to share them with you so here goes. I will type some of them up just because I know you won't look them up I know you better than that!!!

Isiah 41:10- So don't worry, because I am with you. Don't be afraid, because I am your God. I will make you strong and will help you; I will support you with my right hand that saves you.
THAT SO ROCKS!!!( I added that part!)
Phil 4: 13 (popular one) I can do ALL things through Christ, because he gives me strength.
(I wrote in my bible beside this one "YOU CAN DO IT RACH!")
I Cor. 1:25- Even the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength (WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ON OUR STRENGTH or ALONE)
Exodus 15:2-The Lord gives me strength and makes me sing; he has saved me!
And my favorite......
Psalms 18- The entire book is called, get this, are you ready........??!!!
THE SONG OF VICTORY!!!! - read it and be encouraged you deserve it!

We all have angels in our life, people that God brings in our path the encourage us and help guide us to the end of the journey. Embrace them and take hold of your victory in Christ

Ok I know this month is kinda spiritual but it's a HUGE part of who I am, and what helps me stay on track.

Feeling the Pain!

2008-07-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

So I have not been cheating, sitting in a dark room with candy wrappers or tipping the ice cream guy down the road for his discretion of who he shares is his best customer.

Just been a little busy, fear not for I am back.

I have been pondering today about the meaning of "No pain, No Gain!" I always hated that phrase only for the absolute truth it carries.

I have been really good at going to the gym every night. I finish work at 9pm and then head to Fitness World sweat like crazy, but as I look around me and see all the others in the place (Never smiling by the way, seriously have a sandwich it will make you happier) I think to myself are they feeling the pain like I do. All these years of going up and down with my weight cannot be good for my joints, and I do feel it EVERY morning.

Today was the worst. I was taking my son to daycare this morning and as I was going down my front steps, I slipped and fell hitting my head against the side of the porch and kitting my son to the ground as he slipped the rest of the way! NOW that was pain!!!

So I have decided that no pain no gain has it's limits.

But that's not the only pain that we have to overcome when trying to reach our ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE.

There are many circumstances why we have gotten to the point of why we need to overcome our issues. I am not just talking overeating, it can be anything. (You know what I am talking about)

I was never the fat kid that got made fun of. Instead I was actually pretty popular. I always had friends and was never without a date when I needed it. So where is the pain coming from. I remember certain events when I couldn't participate because of my weight, things I was just not invited to because I just knew I couldn't do it. That is so sad to me. The pain is missing out on life. SO no pain no gain has a new meaning for me. LIVING.

I say bring on the pain. Let's deal with it, let's REALLLY feel it. We can overcome it.

If it's abuse in you life or unresolved issues I am challenging you FACE it. It's going to hurt

it's really going to suck.

Do you think Christ didn't know it was going to be the worst pain ever felt by a human being to take on the entire sins of the world, but he faced it and because of it you can give it all to him.

Your daily challenge today is......

NO pain NO gain...... Face it or you will NEVER overcome your ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE!!!!

Saved by the TUMMY TIMER!

2008-07-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

Being hungry is a very strange place to be. I am discovering that there are definitely different levels of hunger. I think if someone said to me when you hear the word hunger what is the first thought that comes to mind I would probably say like most people have the pictures of the little kids in Africa with the bloated stomachs and flies on them because they are to weak to move.
I have been to Africa and my dad travels there several times a year, and the reality is there are many very happy healthy children that live there too, but we always have to go to the extreme to paint a picture.
So I am trying to reevaluate what my first thought of hunger is. (Trying the avoid that whole drama thing!!!)
I used to be terrified of hunger and mortified at being full. I tend to be all or nothing.
When I allow myself to be so hungry and my mind turns into mush and reality takes a back seat and then I am off...... "A binging we will go."
So how do I conquer this. I know this is my key to reaching my ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE.
So I have come up with the word TUMMY TIMER.
For me this is eating every two hours. It allows me to never be hungry and always getting to eat. Now that's not a bad deal.
So here is my schedule if it helps you. Try it out.

Wake up: Half a cup of yogurt right away. When you eat first thing it wakes up your metabolism.

Breakfast: Coffee, Fruit, Jenny Breakfast (1 carb, 1 fat, 1 meat) milk

Snack: Jenny Bar, fruit or celery with cream cheese.

Lunch: Jenny Lunch (1 carb, 1 fat 1 meat) salad and lite dressing with Parmesan cheese.

Snack: Veggies and lite dip

Dinner: Jenny Dinner (1 carb, 2 meats, 1 fat) lot's of steamed veggies or salad

Snack: Jenny snack (half cup popcorn for eg.) maybe sugar free jello with lite cool whip if needed the sweet.

You might look at all that and go how in the world will she lose weight with all that food to eat because it does seem like alot but there is no mindless eating involved.
My new mantra "THE BEST PART OF LOSING WEIGHT IS......EATING."
I no longer have to eat in secret and be embarrassed when I go out and think the entire restaurant is staring at me and hoping that I don't order fries, and so I would order a salad or something I thought I was suppse to have and go binge at home later in secret.

The secret is out "I EAT!"

No daily challenge today just have an amazing weekend and don't forget to eat and be healthy!!!

Being Perfect Ain't so Perfect!

2008-07-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

When I was born I think I must have come out with a smile on my face. I was always that kid that just was happy all the time. I still am. (If any of you know my niece Amelia and know her sneaky little smile that was me)
When I was 6 months old my parents took to me to Ottawa to visit my grandparents. We had a seat at the very front of the airplane and I was sitting in a baby seat just under the movie screen. Well apparently there was some sort of comedy movie on, but when everyone was laughing my face lite up and I thought they were laughing at me. I LOVED IT. Thus starting the Diva empire.
(There is a secret about me that know one knows but Kris, I have always wanted to be stand up comedian, but was never rude or racist enough to make it so never pursued.)
I grew up with a certain spot light on me all the time. It was kind of expected of me to be a certain way to dress a certain way. When I say expected it wasn't expected by my parents or peers but was a pressure that I put on myself.
I am a worship leader at my church, so when you are part of bringing people to a very intimate place with God there is a sense of ownership of you. There were times when I was finished the service and there were a line up of people with "Advise" or "Constructive Criticism" instead of saying thank you so much for what you do I would hear "That dress is really nice but you really should wear nylons with it!" Really I didn't realize the Holy Spirit only moved when pantie hose are involved (rant for the day)
As a pastor's kid and as a worship leader I felt that I had to be this perfect christian girl. So instead of rebelling with drugs or alcohol I would take that criticism and subconsciously say "Oh ya I'll show you I will Bing and gain weight and than won't be able to even fit in the dress!" How dumb or what. That has been my crazy thinking though for many years.
I have come to a place in my life where I know how good I really have it. I have an incredible sexy husband, 2 amazing children a great job that I can work from home, and amazing extend family and friends, and I still get to lead worship with our team at our church.
I was reading my friend Tania's blog the other night and I saw a picture of a gift she was given. It was a sticker or card that read "Worship leaders are Horny too!"
I laughed so hard that I cried. It brought me to a reality that this is life and there is NO perfection other than Christ. So SUCK it up princess and let's tackle this ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE without the stress of perfection but the reality that you can do this!!!!

Okay your daily challenge today is:

To face your reality and find the best venue to conquer your fears.

Facing the Giants

2008-07-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

Ok it's been a couple days. I have not quit don't worry, just have been a bit busy to update.
So yesterday my home group from my church and a few others went to go see a Vancouver Canadians game. It was a blast to take my kids and be with my family.
So I knew that this game would be my first big test. I had to get my game plan on.
Normally when we go out I pack a bag of snacks and toys for my kids to make them happy and we arrive and I totally forget about me. So now I totally forgot about them (or didn't really care frankly!) and packed the bag for me.
I made sure I came prepared. (To face Giants you need to be prepared)
Here was my list of goodies.
Celery with low fat cream cheese, cucumbers, carrots, an apple cut up in pieces and my Jenny Craig protein bar again cut into pieces. On the way I bought a treat of a sugar free Slurpee.
So when I arrived I was armed for battle!!! Every where I looked it was calling out EAT ME, WE MISS YOU. Popcorn, hot dogs everything you can think would be at a baseball game.
My mantra was "It's only food! It's only food."
It's funny because I normally don't eat junk food like that when I go out because I would normally over eat in private, but when I couldn't have it, I thought about it over and over again.
I prayed quietly that God would help me and all of sudden everything around me just seemed NASTY!!
It's funny it was almost like God revealed to me how poisonous it is for me.
Suddenly having my prepared snacks was the most amazing experience ever, knowing that I was taking care of me for once and not letting the GIANTS WIN!.

So here is your daily challenge:

What are the Giants in your life you have to face? What will it finally take to conquer them?

Just Get'n Er Done

2008-07-20T00:29:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me you know how drama pays a large part of my life.
I think I am a drama junkie.
I used to rush home after school just to see what I might miss on The Young and the Restless. (My mom thought I was doing homework) sorry mom. Anyway I knew things were getting bad when one Sunday morning at church I found myself in a serious prayer moment for Nikki Newman because she was dealing with her alcohol problem!!!
I took a little break from soap opera's after that!!!!
I think in life I have always wanted the 30 minute TV special to be my reality. There is always just a regular day than a big DRAMA or problem and than life is perfect in 30min sometime 60 if it's really bad.
But the truth is life just isn't like that. To really see this ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE through I have to get down and dirty and do the hard work EVERY DAY.
The battle is making my eating schedule every 2 hours, fitting in 3 meals and 3 snacks everyday. Which consists of fruits, veggies, protein, good carbs and just enough fats to keep me going! That is my new reality. No background violins when I eat my oatmeal in the morning or glasses being thrown around the kitchen with passionate anger while I am eating my grilled chicken and salad. It's just "GET'N Er DONE!" Today I went the gym and I got there 10 minutes before it closed. (was a real mistake not planned! hee hee) but instead of just leaving I did 10 min on the treadmill at max incline and I still worked up a huge sweat.
So the challenge for you today is

"What will it take for you to just Get Er Done?"

Seeing what others see!

2008-07-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

What if we had to walk around daily with a number pinned to our clothes. Maybe even two numbers. The first one would be the number that when you looked at yourself in the mirror how would you rate yourself from 1-10. Than there would be a second number of how others would rate you. I wonder how similar they would be. Since starting this ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE I have had several people comment to me on how they appreciate my honesty with sharing my challenges. I even had a close friend say to me that she was surprised to hear the struggles I have, because when she sees me on stage singing or in a group situation I always seem to have it all together. That just blew me away. Kris always says to me I wish you could look in the mirror and see what I see. On a daily basis I look in the mirror and see a women who is stuck. What do I mean by stuck?

Have you ever seen those crazy TV shows that put skinny women in fat suits and make them walk around downtown to see how people react. They always seem to be the ugliest women in the world but anyway..... When I look in the mirror that's what I see. I feel like this outgoing amazing women trapped in a FAT suit. I just wish there was a zipper that I could pull and step out of it.

I know life just isn't that simple and it is going to take hard work to get there. Maybe seeing myself out of that suit and looking inward is going to be the key.

For now the invisible # I wear on my clothes is pretty low. I am going to challenge myself to try and see the creation that God as created (me) and that's it's just not what I see in the mirror but what I portray from the inside out.

I know that my insecurity will probably always be there, but when it starts to impact my relationships and stopping myself from living life that's when I need to take a step back and say listen girl get over it. You rock and this is who you are for the rest of your life so you better start liking it!! (I don't mean the outside) but the entire package.

My daily challenge for you today is:

What invisible # do you wear?

What will it take to see yourself at the # that God sees? (It's a 10 by the way)

****Just on a side note. I have to recommended an amazing drink I had last night. It was Waves steamed skim milk and sugar free hazel nut. They make the milk really thick almost like a whip cream!!!**** thanks to Heather for the recommendation

How NOT to get bored, and stay motivated????

2008-07-17T12:58:00.000-07:00

I was always that kid in class that when someone had a joke or a comment to say, but was to scared to say it out loud, they would whisper it to me and they would know that I had no problem sharing with the entire class. I lived for that laugh, that acceptance. Consequently I usually ended up in the hallway. The secret that noone new is I would be begging inside to sit in that hallway or anything to get me out of that classroom. When I was in school we had one desk assigned to us. We had to sit in that chair for sometimes 1-2 hours straight and listen to an adult tell us about some far away place and expected us to retain all the information!!!
It was torture, so when I was sent to the hall I was thanking God so I could at least stretch. I find through this ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE I am going to struggle with being bored and fidgety as well. To me when someone tells me "You have to eat veggies and fruit everyday!" "When are you going to work out today?" It gives me that same feeling of the walls crashing over me. I know it's pure stubbornness.
Most of you know this but my husband this past couple of years has changed careers and has most recently been hired as a Police Officer. With the job comes something called SHIFT WORK!!! He works 2 days and then 2 nights for 12 hours. So there are times at night when he is working and my kids are sleeping I feel trapped again!!! Please someone send me to the hallway!! So out of boredom I always go to my habit of eating and turning off my mind. I know now that this actually has a label and is common. It's called Mindless Eating.
So the challenge for me this week is trying to discover new ways to fill that time and keep my mind on track and not "sit in the hallway" and stretch. Using my tools will be key especially this blog, when I am home alone bored.
Does anyone out there have any suggestions for me?
**Just on a side note to keep you updated.... I weighed myself at Curves last night and I lost 3lbs this first week. Not the main focus for me but is pretty cool!!**

Suck it up Princess!

2008-07-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Life Lesson # 2........

Using the Tools you have, NOT blaming them for your failure!

For many years I have tried every "diet" every gym, read every book and suprise surprise they work for awhile and then all of sudden it just stops working!!!!
If you are looking to loose weight and have never tried, I am your girl, I can tell you exactly the tools to use.
Kris and I were stuck in traffic a couple of days ago and I said to him I just wish I could find someone who really understands me, maybe something that will actually work!!!
I could see it in his face he was just wanting to say something but I knew he was holding it back! I gave him permission to be honest........WHY I'm not sure.
He said to me "Suck it up Princess." (How rude I know) He reminded me that it's not the tools that have failed it's my choices to not continue to use those tools.
See it's easier to say oh Curves didn't work because I work later than the hours, Fitness world doesn't work because they are all to skinny and I feel uncomfortable, Jenny Craig doesn't work because I got sick of the food.
I have never once said "It didn't work because I just gave up!!!"
Well you can imagine how ticked I was...... so I sulked for a few minutes felt sorry for myself for another minute or so, than finally thought about what he was saying.
We use tools to live our lives everyday. We use a bed to sleep in, and shower, sink, toilet etc to well you can fill in the blanks. We use the kitchen to fix our food and so on and so forth. These are just tools. They will not fail unless we miss use them or just simply stop using them.

So I am going to tell you the tools I am going to use during this journey.
*I have a free membership and Curves (fabulous place only 30 min workout)
*I pay for a membership at Fitness World (love it there for the hours and to go with Deb)
*And I am a Life time member at Jenny Craig (is so convienent with my crazy lifestyle and great counceling)
*I am also going to add this blog as a tool.
I was out for lunch today with my Aunt Janice and talking to her about my journey and she came up with the term BlOGPressure. I love that because it is not only keeping me accountable but is using the tools. Lesson 1 and 2 in one!

So here is your challenge tonight for your ULITMATE LIFE CHALLENGE......

What are 3 tools to help you become an overcomer?

Lesson one of the The Ultimate Life Challenge

2008-07-14T21:27:00.000-07:00

Life Lesson one........
Accountability :
1.
the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable.
2.
Education. a policy of holding schools and teachers accountable for students' academic progress by linking such progress with funding for salaries, maintenance, etc.

I think the hardest part of knowing you have to change is actually having to admit you have the problem. YUCK... now it may be obvious to others around you but to yourself it's easy to completely shut down that part of your mind and just not go there but you need something to help you forget about it, some choose alcohol, some choose drugs, some choose exercise. My drug of choice has always been FOOD. Doesn't really matter what kind, sweet salty whatever as long as it's in the mouth and soothing that emotion bring it! But we all know that just doesn't work, so once the food is in it has to go somewhere. For years I let it go to my butt, stomach wherever it found a spot it stayed!!!!
When I was 15 I discovered a new location to put it..... the toilet. Sorry to be so gross but there is no pretty way to put this because it just isn't. I would eat everything I could find and fast. Then I would make myself throw up. It became a sense of control yet was I in control or was it the illusion of control. The problem was I was terrible at it, because after I was stinkin hungry so I would have something to eat and those calories just stayed with me. I used to get upset with myself because I was a terrible bulimic!!!
This went off and on for several years until I met the man of my dreams and starting sharing this part of my life with him. That whole accountability thing really works when you trust the person. I promised him I would tell my doctor. She recommend me to a therapist. The therapist ended up more messed up than me, I started to counsel her. On the way home in the car I remember laughing and crying thinking my life ain't that bad if I have to give the tissue to the therapist at the end of the session!! I do think about it sometimes but I just remember that it's not worth the pain. The issue is now the binging has become a habit.
I went to Fitness world with my best friend Debbie today and while we were doing arm exercises I fessed up to her about my binging. It was hard to say it out loud, instead of her saying something think how much of a screw up I was a or telling me how horrible I was. She simply said "OK so let's move on from here."
So today's question for you is.....
Do you have that Accountability person that you can go to? Think about it.
You can't complete the Ultimate Life Challenge on your own.
Check out Life Less # 2 tomorrow.

My History before THE ULTIMATE LIFE CHALLENGE

2008-07-14T20:58:00.000-07:00

From the earliest memories of my life I had a clear view of who I was and what I assumed was who I would always be.
When I was 3 years old my mom took me to the doctor and he used that word "Obese"! For years that word has followed behind me, as a shadow as a voice not sure but it is always learking.
In 1978 the only solution the doctor had for me was the second word that has been the arch enemy of my 33 years "Diet". My mom to this day always wishes she told that doctor wear to stick it but instead it began. I made a decision as a little girl that I was not whole, that something was wrong with me. That somehow because of how I looked I was a disapointment.
I know now that was a beginning of a secret vow that I made.

A couple years later I was about 5 years old, I was born with feet that turned in slightly so I had to go back to "THE DOCTOR" I had to be fitted for a bar. This was a torture device that apparntley was to help straighten my feet. I remember being in the office and they were moving my feet around and checking things out. My younger sister had the same problem and they fitted her no problem, but for some reason they had to mention in front of me that my problem was not genetic but beacuse I was.... here is comes...."Obese". I AM FIVE years old. None the less I staightened up.

Why do I share this on the top of my first ever blog...... I think I just needed to get it out maybe just know it's out there. I am hoping this will help others out there with any issue with food wether it be over eating or not eating enough. Or if your a parent with a child with the issue and you just can't relate.

I have started the Utlimate Life Challenge not just for me but for anyone who just needs to vent and maybe have a place where they would never share this with anyone.... or maybe just help you realize that your life ain't so bad and you can say check out this chick she is really messed up.

My Ultimate Life Challenge for myself is to not only loose 130 pounds but to finally conquer the addiction that has consumed me for 30 years.

Today is the best moment, not tomorrow not yesterday!

What's your Ultimate Life Challenge