Life Lesson one........
Accountability :
1.
the state of being accountable, liable, or answerable.
2.
Education. a policy of holding schools and teachers accountable for students' academic progress by linking such progress with funding for salaries, maintenance, etc.
I think the hardest part of knowing you have to change is actually having to admit you have the problem. YUCK... now it may be obvious to others around you but to yourself it's easy to completely shut down that part of your mind and just not go there but you need something to help you forget about it, some choose alcohol, some choose drugs, some choose exercise. My drug of choice has always been FOOD. Doesn't really matter what kind, sweet salty whatever as long as it's in the mouth and soothing that emotion bring it! But we all know that just doesn't work, so once the food is in it has to go somewhere. For years I let it go to my butt, stomach wherever it found a spot it stayed!!!!
When I was 15 I discovered a new location to put it..... the toilet. Sorry to be so gross but there is no pretty way to put this because it just isn't. I would eat everything I could find and fast. Then I would make myself throw up. It became a sense of control yet was I in control or was it the illusion of control. The problem was I was terrible at it, because after I was stinkin hungry so I would have something to eat and those calories just stayed with me. I used to get upset with myself because I was a terrible bulimic!!!
This went off and on for several years until I met the man of my dreams and starting sharing this part of my life with him. That whole accountability thing really works when you trust the person. I promised him I would tell my doctor. She recommend me to a therapist. The therapist ended up more messed up than me, I started to counsel her. On the way home in the car I remember laughing and crying thinking my life ain't that bad if I have to give the tissue to the therapist at the end of the session!! I do think about it sometimes but I just remember that it's not worth the pain. The issue is now the binging has become a habit.
I went to Fitness world with my best friend Debbie today and while we were doing arm exercises I fessed up to her about my binging. It was hard to say it out loud, instead of her saying something think how much of a screw up I was a or telling me how horrible I was. She simply said "OK so let's move on from here."
So today's question for you is.....
Do you have that Accountability person that you can go to? Think about it.
You can't complete the Ultimate Life Challenge on your own.
Check out Life Less # 2 tomorrow.
3 comments:
WooHoo!! Love you Rach - I know you can do this, you are an amazingly strong beautiful friend. I am 100% here for you!!!
Every day you amaze me as a courageous cousin, loving mother, and true friend. You can do this Rach!!! I love you. WOOT WOOT!!
Love you Rach, no matter how much you weigh. Goals are a nice way to start, but it is the journey that counts. Your happiness and love of oneself should not be defined by some arbitrary number. As long as you get that, you are fighting the good fight. If you don't, you will do more harm than good. Remember, your kids are watching, and I am not taking about the scale. Otherwise, I think you are off to a good start, I'm sure Debbie will "punch you in the head" if you get too full of yourself. Tell Kris for me, that he needs to loose a few himself..... Meaning, this is his fight too, physically, mentally, and spiritually. That's "WORD" Biblically speaking. He must bear the burden also. Twice the power! Add the Lord and those close to you, and you will prevail according to the Lords will. His will first! Healthy living according to the word.
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